Summer in Dallas equals hot hot hot, swim lessons and the usual pressure to "do what everyone else is doing". Ugh. So I knew Graham needed to learn to swim and all of my girlfriends rave about a specific swim school. I dragged my feet, had a pit in my stomach for no real reason (or maybe the Holy Spirit - der) and timidly hit the pay online button and immediately regretted my decision. I got into bed feeling the buyers remorse of a non-refundable bad decision.
Graham's first lesson was on Saturday, which my girlfriend warned me it was going to be a zoo, and it was. We got there late (no shocker for this nursing mom), we walk in to an indoor facility with no less than 75 kids and a ton of instructors all talking at the same time and doing various activities. I was instantly overwhelmed and so was my mini me. I rushed him over to his teacher who was a sweet high schooler, maybe college student who wasn't super equipped to handle this child's crocodile tears and massive melting. Who would be at that age? Graham tried very hard to obey me and get in, but you could tell he was in over his head with fear and a new environment...there was no "getting it together" at this point.
I was sweating - could have been the humid/ crowded indoor environment or the weight of trying to console and instruct my sweet boy while the walls seemed to be closing in on me. I tried being with him, I tried being in the waiting room, I worked the stern angle, I worked the grace angle... No response. We were both DONE by the end of his 30 min lesson. We left and he was a giant pile of mush for about 30 more minutes.
Mike and I decided it would be better next week and we would try again - even though we were both dreading it. I asked a dear friend of mine about private lessons that I knew she taught at her house. She jumped at the chance to have me and the boys over. So two days later we went and I was nervous, pacing, texting her non-stop, wondering how she was going to handle these kids and how I was going to handle Graham's fear.
We get there...the boys march outside with her. I stayed inside and out of sight at her request...to which I say THANK YOU for just telling me what to do - that's what I need. She proceeds to directly tell these boys what to do and miraculously they are doing it. I will take any opportunity for these guys to work together, so it was a major bonus that she was going to have them both at the same time. The environment was quiet, really even peaceful. It was apparent to me and to them that they had all of her attention. There was still some A LOT of crying, but instead of not knowing what to do she asked Graham to quote Joshua 1:9 - be strong and courageous. She prayed with him to ease his fear...she had him gaining self control by earning his trust. She is a mom of four and these kids LOVE her. I have no doubt that she loves me and my kids...this is the place for me. This was more than swim lessons for me - its a chance to hang out and love her kids while she teaches mine. It's a chance to spend time with her oldest son (who I have known for 5 years now), who has a tender and kind heart which I have always admired...I imagine Graham will be similar to him in teenage form. It's just where He was leading me. It's right and I can feel it.
We have been twice now...the moral of the story is not that the swim school was bad (we might even try it again at a later date), but that I KNEW KNEW KNEW it wasn't what I should have done and I did it anyway. The instructor we got at the school was as sweet as could be, but not what my kids needed. We could finish the school and Graham would be fine, but at this point I am brave enough to quit and go a better route for him today. I pray that I am always brave enough to follow my gut for my kids, brave enough to not be pressured by Dallas, brave enough to be different when I feel called.
This story is not about swim lessons, but about a desire to know them and to honor Him. A good reminder to listen to my Savior, especially when I know (in hindsight) he is talking to me and shepherding these kids through me.
My friend and swim teacher, Angie Cooper, sent me these sweet pictures of my boys swim lessons today. Underwater camera = swim instructor BOSS.
I love that this one captures the essence of what they are feeling during the lessons. She swears by Friday these guys will be her best friends. I believe her.
Blowing bubbles. Don't mind the sunscreen curd on T's face...the non-chemical natural stuff doesn't rub in well.
This morning I read a chapter in a book about grace and this has stuck with me...
"Believe that HE is strong enough to save your children no matter how you fail. Believe that HE is loving enough to bring them all the way into relationship with HIMSELF, whether you understand "grace parenting" or not. Believe that HE is wise enough to know the right way and the right time to do it."
Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household. Acts 16:31
I can't believe for my kids and I won't always make the right choices, but thankfully their salvation has NOTHING to do with me.
Let's Hear it for Jesus Who Came to Save and a Loving Friend
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