Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Dear Turkey Trot,

Dear Turkey T - Your gifts are always a surprise to us.  They show up, FedEx style, right before Christmas.  Mike's name written on the front and no sender to quench the curiosity.  I always wonder...is it something for me?....is it a gift from someone to him?.  The suspense fills the air as I wait for my hubs to come home from working out to open the giant package.  What's that I hear...the screen door opening, Mike's home!  I casually place the package in plain sight and gently prod as to what it is.  He says he doesn't know....first let down, ripping the package open, it's from the Turkey Trot...second let down.  Don't get me wrong I am proud of Mike for winning some sort of loot at all.  Most people pay for the race and come home with the gift of satisfaction that they finished without dying.  Mike does not normally pay the entry, he doesn't really train and then he wins (annoyed? - me too), and we always get a GREAT, GOOD, CRAPPY gift.  So this years winners received the most plush, luxurious, faux pleather padfolio with the Turkey Trot insignia embossed on it.

Imagine with me:  Mike at a high powered sales meeting, asking for a 6 digit sale.  No way he can talk them into it?...you never know - it's a nail biter, but then in he walks with his business suit, shoes polished, product in his hair, high fashion tie and the finishing touch - pleather TT padfolio....WHAT WHAT.  Sale complete.  Commission is ours! 
 If you are in the meeting, do you ask about said folio or just slyly mark his name off the buy from list?  Turkey Trot - this padfolio probably cost you $5.00 wholesale and another $2.00 for the amazing logo...next year Mike will take a Starbucks gift card where he can buy ONE speciality drink or don't worry about a gift at all.  Side note:  I would like to commend you on improving the pointy glass trophy and logoed cd case from last year.  CD's, really?

The amazing Padfolio.
To accompany the padfolio, a lap top bag with of course an obnoxiously large and colorful Turkey Trot logo.  Again Turkey Trot, who wants to carry something around with a logo on it?  Maybe if we worked for you, and you supplied us with the laptop and then the bag to carry it?!?! 

Anywho, TT, thank you for upgrading this years bag to the $10 version with the reflective gear, so when Mike is running with his laptop at night, he will be safe. 

Not trying to be ungrateful, just practical.  Stop buying terrible stuff that EVERYONE gives to Goodwill or trashes.  Save the money, give it to the homeless guy on Alpha and the Tollway, make a bouncy ball to give to everyone so at least my kids can play with it, buy someone a meal, or do nothing at all and charge less for the race.

Just suggestions, take them for what they are worth...NOTHING.

Let's Hear it for Winnings.

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